Every new parent has stood over the cot at 2am trying to soothe a crying baby and running out of ideas. Crying is the only language a newborn has and decoding it is mostly a process of elimination. The good news is that almost every cause of a crying baby responds to one of a small set of soothing techniques.
READ MORE: Why is my newborn crying?
Start with the basics
Before you reach for advanced soothing techniques, work through the four most common causes of newborn distress in this order: hunger, a wet or dirty nappy, being too hot or too cold and tiredness. Newborns feed every two to three hours, so if more than two hours have passed since the last feed, hunger is the likeliest culprit. Check the nappy next. Then check temperature. Newborns cannot regulate their own body heat and the room may be warmer or cooler than you think. If all three are ruled out and your baby has been awake for more than an hour or two, overtiredness is often the answer.
Soothing techniques that work
Once the obvious has been addressed, these techniques calm most babies most of the time:
Skin-to-skin contact
Hold your baby against your bare chest. Skin-to-skin regulates a newborn’s heart rate, breathing and temperature and triggers the release of calming hormones in both parent and baby. It is the single most reliable soothing tool in the first three months.
Swaddling
A snug swaddle mimics the containment of the womb and dampens the startle reflex that wakes and upsets newborns. Use a light, breathable blanket and leave the hips loose enough to move freely. Stop swaddling as soon as your baby shows signs of rolling.
White noise
The womb is loud, roughly the volume of a vacuum cleaner. Sudden silence can be unsettling for a newborn. Continuous white noise from an app, a fan or even running water often settles a crying baby within seconds.
Movement
Rocking, gentle bouncing, walking with the baby in a carrier or a short drive in the car all use motion to calm an overstimulated nervous system. A baby carrier or wrap is particularly useful because it keeps your hands free.
A dummy
Non-nutritive sucking is a powerful self-soothing reflex. A dummy can break a crying spell when nothing else has worked. If you are breastfeeding, wait until feeding is well established before introducing one.
When the crying is colic
If your otherwise healthy baby cries for more than three hours a day, three or more days a week, for at least three weeks, what you are dealing with is colic. There is no proven cure but most colic resolves on its own by four months. Skin-to-skin, swaddling, white noise, a warm bath and motion are all worth trying. Equally important is your own self-care. Putting the baby safely in the cot for a few minutes while you breathe and reset is not failure. It is what keeps you calm enough to soothe them when you return.
When to call the doctor
Most crying is normal and resolves with patience. Call your paediatrician or GP if your baby cries inconsolably for hours, has a fever, is vomiting, has stopped feeding, has fewer wet nappies than usual or seems floppy or unresponsive. Persistent arching of the back during or after feeds may point to reflux, which is treatable.
Trust yourself
You will learn your baby’s cries faster than you think. Hunger sounds different to overtiredness. Pain sounds different to boredom. Until then, work through the checklist, use the soothing techniques that suit your baby and remember that the goal is not always to stop the crying. Sometimes it is simply to be present while it passes.
