file Aggressive toddler

4 years 8 months ago #263095 by Bunnyhugger
Hi Mommies!

I have a question about my 18 month old LG. Whenever I collect her from day-care, the minute she sees me she will swipe any unlucky toddler standing closest to her. I will literally walk in and when our eyes meet, she will immediately lash out at the nearest child. My reaction is always the same. I will get down to her level and in a stern voice tell her we don't hit and that hitting hurts, she will cry and I will see whether the other child is ok before tending to her again. However she still continues slapping others. The other day she whacked some poor kid with a hard toy on the head :S Now I try and sneak in without her seeing me so that by the time she does spot me, I am already standing next to her, ready to intercept before she gets to hit anyone.

I also find her quite aggressive and impossible to wean from the breast. She nurses throughout the night and I know that I hardly produce any milk anymore so she will constantly frantically swap between breasts, sucking furiously for up to an hour and then finally fall asleep. I have tried getting her to sleep without the breast but she doesn't like it one bit! She will get so angry and hysterical and there is no way of calming her down. She will hit and scratch and go nuts. My face is constantly covered in scratches whenever I try and "wean"her. No amount of holding or trying to cuddle helps. She gets super angry if I do. We did sleep train her at 10 months and it sort of helped but we quickly ended up right back to where we started. By the time she was 14 months old I was also down to just 2 feeds a day but that has gone completely out the window. She has had grommets put in on Saturday so I am thinking that maybe her ears were/are bothering and I might need to wait a bit until the infection has cleared? Any mommies with similar experience out there?

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4 years 8 months ago #263122 by Moomie Admin
Replied by Moomie Admin on topic Aggressive toddler
Hi Bunnyhugger, toddlers are emotional little beings, with big feelings and small bodies. Sometimes it gets too much for them and they lash out. It seems as if she is trying to get your attention.

I am a big fan of dr. Aletha Solter, from the Aware Parenting Institute.

It's based on the fact that children - just like us - has emotions they must process. Be this anger, hurt, resentment, pain from ears or whatever. This is not to say that you did something that hurt or angered her but just like you have an off day or get irritated, children to too.

It's important for the children to get these emotions processed and get it out.

If it was me, I'd get to school, make a big hoo-ha of coming to fetch her. How much you missed her and love her. Hug her, pick her up. If she hits someone, completely ignore it. You love her regardless if she test you. She needs to know this. No, it is not right for her to hit but wait till you get home, let her FIRST feel completely loved. Then talk to her at home, kindly, about how it hurts someone if you hit. It makes them sad and you love your friends and don't want to hurt them. Ask her if she gets angry, can she rather tell you and she can hit a pillow etc?

Here's the link to Aware Parenting.

(Just know that you are not alone. Toddlers are very very hard work with their very very big egos and feelings. :P )

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4 years 8 months ago #263142 by Bunnyhugger
Replied by Bunnyhugger on topic Aggressive toddler
Thank you for sharing the link! It has definitely given me a different perspective on things. Its just so difficult when everyone else around you is telling me that my child is spoilt or naughty and you start believing them. Will definitely also give it to my husband to read!

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4 years 8 months ago #263531 by Debs
Replied by Debs on topic Aggressive toddler
Ai mine does the same aggresive behaviour just in different situations. EVERY day 17:30 to 19:00 he is a mess. I have tried everything. It is the only times I see him so everyday i am looking forward to picking him up and the minute i put him in the car seat he cries, all the way home he is cranky and crying. Then it is time for food: UH-HUH. Dont want any sometimes he will eat eventually other days he says no but eats.

He is just a tantrumming mess lol in a split second he will change. He eats well during the day and snack a big snack at 3pm. He eats again round 17:15 or 17:30. Then again round 18:15 then bath (another nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) at 18:30.

Mornings the same, cranky in car.

Sometimes i think i am 'mommying' bad :( lol. Feels like he is only happy at school -so they say.

Wish he would learn to speak more so it is less frustrating for him AND ME!!!

Me: 30
DH: 32

Nov 2012 - Off Yasmin (8.5 years on BC)

Nov 2012 - Feb 2013 Not TTC

Mar 2013 - TTC BFN

April 2013 - TTC BFN

23 May 2013 - BFP!!!!! 4w1d
EDD 29 Jan 2014
C-section date 16 Jan 2014

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