file Fear to wash hair

7 years 4 months ago #231121 by Blompotjie
Fear to wash hair was created by Blompotjie
My boy, now 3 years old, usually did not mind to wash his hair, he did not like it, but he let me wash it in anyway.

All of a sudden one night last week he just point blank refused that I was his hair. And there is no reason for him do so;

Reason one: the sampoo never burnt his eyes, I always make sure that nothing gets into his eyes.
Reason two: I try to do it as fast as possible trying not to get to much water in his face, because he normaly refused to lay back so that I can throw the water backwards. So he basically forces me to pour the water over his head.

Last week, he just suddenly started to scream, no, no, no, my ears. :huh: In the end I tried to explain to him if he lays down, I promise I won't let any water near his ears or face. He still refused. I tried the reward stuff, nothing. I told him that we can get ear plugs then the water wont go in his ears, no way, nothing in the ears, he pulls it out.

In the end I had to wash his hair again last night with him screaming so loud that my heart started to crumble of guilt. :cry: But his hair needs to be washed, otherwise what will the other kids think.

Do any of you ladies have any opinions on what I can do to make the hair wash expedition a nice one again. I fear the next hair wash sension already. And I have no more clue as to what to do to make it nice and fun for him. :unsure:

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7 years 4 months ago #231129 by KerryA
Replied by KerryA on topic Fear to wash hair
my daughter also just recently went through that... she went from being happy to lay in the water to screaming so bad i thought the neighbiurs were gonna call childline.

I don't know what happened or where it came from... but i eventually caved and let her have dirtyish hair, we would wash only on saturday morning.

Then i tried dry shampoo to cover the inbetween days. Didn't work particularly well and half the creche sandpit remained in her hair...

After about two weeks of completely giving up i asked her to pour a little water on her haid coz her hair was really dirty... she did a bit and i pretended to put shampoo on... and rub it in... then i asked her to rinse her hair. (we used the empty bubble bath bottle... so not really alot of water)

Then last week, out of the blue she decided to lay down again in the water... imagine my complete shock! (of course at this point there was a sandpit in the bottom of the bath)

I am not sure if it was swimming over the weekend that convinced her it was nice to be in the water or she just forgot whatever caused her phobia in the first place?

at any rate, it will pass, try bear with it in the mean time. or try approach it differently maybe?

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7 years 4 months ago #231215 by Huggles
Replied by Huggles on topic Fear to wash hair
Due to lift-club issues I had to fetch and bath my niece for a few months a while back. She was also 3 at the time.

In the beginning she would happily let me wash her hair. Then, like you, all of a sudden she would refuse and scream and scream and scream her way through, like i was torturing her. Every night when i told her it was bath time she would look at me all seriously and tell me "wash a hair amorrow" (wash my hair tomorrow). tomorrow would come and the same thing. But it was like her way of saying "i'll only bath if you promise not to wash my hair". Of course i had to wash it every couple of days, and i just did it as fast as possible, through her screaming.

I wonder if it's perhaps a developmental phase.

I know around 14 or so months babies/toddlers that were always happy to bath suddenly freak out about being put in water. Could be something similar around 3 years old.

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7 years 4 months ago #231222 by gloeiwurmpie
Replied by gloeiwurmpie on topic Fear to wash hair

Deepest sympathy!!!!

This has been one of our BIG struggles. I know exactly what you are talking about.

I am not even going to waste time mentioning all the things you can do to make it better, I have tried every single suggestion I could find on the internet and NOTHING worked. I have been washing her hair only once a week and only on a weekend day (my husband can help then). We always offered a small towel that she can put over her face but in the end we just got it over as soon as possible and had to pour water over her entire head. And the screaming. Yes, defnitely thought that they were going to call childline!

I think it is a phase (a pretty long one for us) because for the past month she is willing to do it herself, that is lie back in the bath and wet her hair and I would then gently wet the hair that she can't. Then we would wash and she would help and she would lie back again or she sits up straight looking up and puts a towel over her face and we pour. She is now 3,5 years old. I think it is something that they outgrow..... good luck!

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7 years 4 months ago #231223 by gloeiwurmpie
Replied by gloeiwurmpie on topic Fear to wash hair
Just another note. I think it is important to acknowledge that you understand that this something unpleasant for them and that he doesn't like the sensation of the water. And that is okay. It really is important to acknowledge his feelings. I do think it is legitimate. I have actually read in one of my books about sensory integration disorders that washing hair for somebody with an extremely sensitive nervous system it is actually "painful" to wash hair. I am not saying this is the case with your son, but rather that the physical sensation does cause him real physical discomfort (like pain) and it should be recognised that he feels this way.

Hope it will pass soon!!

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7 years 4 months ago #231233 by Blompotjie
Replied by Blompotjie on topic Fear to wash hair
O my word. Thank you ladies. I thought as much that it could be a phase.

He has the flu now, and he knows I never wash his hair if he is sick. But he still needs to bath. Now it worsened with him refusing even to bath. I BEG YOUR PARDEN!!! He also has a shirt on for the last 3 days he does not want to take off to bath.

But anycase, I sympathised with him and told him, 'mommy understands' lets just at least clean your body with a wet cloth for the time being. But tonight he needs to bath, i know he probably compares bath time with hair wash now, but I told him I won't wash his hair until his ready :pinch: Don't know how long that's going to take, but we'll see.

With that, he still wants to cry and not bath. Really!!

Gloeiwurmpie, I understand the pain thing as well, I am very carefull there as well, because I my self am quite sensitve to washing hair. So when I washed his hair, I try to be as gentle as possible. It's just the water bit I think throws him haywire, when is thrown over his head. I just hope and pray this will pass soon, my nerves can't handle it so well at this stage.

Thank you once again ladies.

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7 years 4 months ago #231238 by gloeiwurmpie
Replied by gloeiwurmpie on topic Fear to wash hair
Oh, boy the same old dirty clothes for 3 days....yes, I KNOW what you are talking about!! :laugh:

I find the most difficult times are when they are sick. They just don't feel well enough to co-operate. And they are going to throw all that anger from being sick right at you!!

I personally find a difficult 3 year old WAY MORE impossible than any 2 year old!

I love my girl to bits and enjoy her so much, but when she decides she is not going to co-operate, Oh, boy, it gets nasty....

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