file Difficult toddler

7 years 9 months ago #229611 by abigail0309
Hi Ladies

My daughter is 3 years old now and lately it feels like a uphill battle again. She is the sweetest child and most loving child when it suits her - but she can be just as naughty or nasty and this is really frustrating.
I have noticed this behavior in the last 2 weeks. When she wants something, sometimes instead of asking she will scream for it, where upon I have to remind her not to scream but to rather ask, which she then does and also says please and thank you. But why first scream for it? I really don't get that. Also she loves playing with her dad but gets very annoyed with him and also screams - although they are just playing? Is this normal at this age to be so darn difficult and that literally about everything?
If she does not get her way, she screams and it drives me absolutely insane!!
I do discipline her and do not always give into all her whims, but these last two weeks it's been very frustrating and me talking to her, telling her that her behavior is not acceptable does not seem to work at all!! It feels as if she's testing my patience or try to see how far she can push the boundaries.

Please help - is this just a phase as she's never been this hectic before - and at what age do toddlers start being good, if that's even possible :)

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7 years 9 months ago #229623 by Marijke
Replied by Marijke on topic Re: Difficult toddler

I think it's quite normal for them, especially the getting mad at daddy bit. My little girl (now 3 years and 2 months or something) adores her father but can go from loving on him to hating him in seconds. If you tickle her too long for example she'll cry for what feels like hours. I made a video with my cell the other day of her throwing her first real tantrum in the bath and I don't really remember what it's about.

For me, being 36 weeks pregnant, I'm thinking her behaviour is because she knows something is going on and feeling a little helpless especially since I can't do as much with her as I use to. I have also noticed (B only goes to daycare from 8 - 12, I wanted to say daily but some weeks only 2 or 3 days) that some of the behaviours come from daycare and the other kids, she's starting to imitate others a lot more, good or bad (usually bad)

About the screaming, that doesn't happen here. I won't even entertain it, or should I say, won't react I'll just ignore it. Because something like that can really push my buttons it's easier for me to ignore it and try to stay calm than to try and reason with her because she'll notice it pushing my buttons then zoom in.

If B does get upset about something which I find unreasonable and screams and cries I'll tell her to go to her room and cry there until she feels better then call me and we'll talk - she gets that and within minutes can be heard playing with her dolls. It's usually caused by tiredness, you can see the change in her behaviour if she's skipped her afternoon naps for a few days in a row. She needs a nap about every second or third day!

Married for 13 years

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7 years 9 months ago #229624 by gloeiwurmpie
Replied by gloeiwurmpie on topic Re: Difficult toddler
Hi Abigail,

Did you see my thread about 3 year olds? A lot of moms share their frustrations there!

They really start to realise at age 3 that they are their own person. This is normal. They also still believe that the whole universe revolves around them. This is normal. They are also trying to figure out what anger does and how to use it, they do so to assert themselves (important developmental milestone too). They have a lot to learn, but I think we parents sometimes think that our children have already read the "manual" but just decided to ignore all the rules! I don't think that is the case. They have a lot to learn and I think parents should be a bit more "tolerant" at times. But I know how difficult it is. Just yesterday my 3 year old tested my limits to a point I thought I was going to run away! It really, really is tough! You are not alone in this trust me.

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7 years 9 months ago #229665 by Blompotjie
Replied by Blompotjie on topic Re: Difficult toddler
Hi There

Oh, that is soooooooo normal :lol:

My one tends to drive me up the walls as well, but I try to be patient and understanding, and I keep in mind that it will pass, it is a way of learning.
Just always let them understand the right from wrong. The sooner you accept it, the easier you will handle it. ;)

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