I was chatting on a forum last night and I was asking why is it that some people go through so much sh&t and appear to be fine.
While others, who should, for all intense purposes have a happy life, are just not happy.
How does that sh&t happen.
I loved his response:
"Some of us are built like Big Ben, some of us are $2 mickey mouse watches that last a month before acting up."
And that is it then, some of use do not function well - and we beat ourselves up trying to answer the question "why" and then making ourselves feel worse because we do not cope with what everyone else appears to be able to sing and dance about.
You play the cards you are dealt - and the only choice you have is to play them well or not ... or fold.
I use smoke and mirrors, when that is not working, I have a collection of masks, and I have a few other coping mechanisms in my toolkit.
Granted - many come at a price and cannot be used for long until something else breaks.
Save your energy to find who you are, and less screaming into the thunder of "why" you are what or who you are.
You describe a very scary and lonely place to be in. There are definitely free counselling centres in the Western Cape and I suggest you make an appointment and get to one as soon as possible. Free counselling centres do the job just as well as psychotherapy, especially if you are in a place as dark as the one you are describing.
I suggest you contact Lifeline as soon as possible and make an appointment for one-on-one counselling. You can reach them on:
Office: (+27 21) 461-1113
Fax: (+27 21) 461-6400
Crisis: (+27 21) 461-1111
You can also go to any government hospital for a psychiatric check-up, but it is important that you use any medication in conjunction with counselling/therapy.
RM - You response makes so much sense!!! Love the Big Ben & Mickey mouse it is so true.
We are all not the same.
I've completely lost who I am - something not involving my children! I cant seem to figure out where to start on finding that again.
Julz - I have been drinking a light dose of my pain pills yesterday and today and even last night I slept better. Its not solving my craziness problem, but it is helping me sleep. I'm just still scared of getting addicted to taking them every day.
Antjie - thank you for the information - I will definitely be contacting them.
Northern Suburbs, Cape Town
Im a halfday working mom of 2 wonderful little girls, most days I just smile and nod and pretend that I know what I'm doing as a parent, but we all know its not true...
Amandalynn Nora Coetzee - 28 June 2006
Lorelai Charlotte Nortje - 27 January 2010
Decided to start trying for another baby - 08 October 2016