Moomie is very quiet lately... You might have to wait a few days for a reply!
I have absolutely no idea what approach to use with a teenager. All I can say is that I feel for you. I can't imagine how you must feel after all the effort for her party and no thank you. But it sounds like typical teenager behaviour!
If you ever use bitchiness with her (or maybe sarcasm) or in front of her I can only imagine that she will copy that behaviour. I think this has been one of the toughest part of motherhood for me is that they do everything that you do! (And I am reffering here to the negative behaviour too...). She is really like a walking mirror of myself. If I am in a foul mood I am sure to see it reflected back to me! In a sense this has helped me to change certain areas of myself that I would like to improve.
ps: I can relate to so many things on your blog. Just know that you are not alone! I often feel so isolated when fighting my own "battles".
I decided that some space between me and Teenager was for the best after an intense weekend. Went to visit a friend straight after work on Monday and asked Porra to pick Teenager up.
Some space and time to oneself was the medicine. I did apologise to Teenager and told her it hurts me when I go to such effort for her (for a three day birthday celebrations) and she does not say thank you.
You read my blog ?
I'm afraid I've been abit busy lately to blog daily. I've committed to four meetings a week which sucks up my evenings. And I don't like to blog from work because of the confidential nature of what I write about.
Glad you managed to arange an "off afternoon". That is one of the things I don't know how single parents cope with, VERY LITTLE time off. My personality is of such a type that I need more time away from my LG than most parents. If I don't have that, well...lets just say that things get a bit intense.
As far as I have read in my parenting books, it is a good thing to state strong emotions to children. It advised to tell children about how you feel about the wrong doing and how it made you feel (using "I" statements and not "you").
I don't read your blog everyday, maybe every couple of months. There aren't many mothers out there who had a really challenging upbringing who fight to prevent the old age "history repeats itself" urge. It really gets lonely not to have anyone who can understand how challenging it can be to be a "good mother". It really is hard to break dysfunctional patterns you were exposed to as a child. Not many people get that.
I am really glad for you that you are going to the meetings! I can only imagine how tough it must be to fit into a busy day though. Good luck with that, it sounds quite hectic! (Therapy is never fun hey?)
I know exactly what you are going through - and we have FIVE teenage girls !!!
My eldest isnt talking to me at the moment cause I told her to stop being a right royal bitch to her sister. This morning I asked her if she is talking to me yet and she just gave me her normal blank stare - so I told her best she sort her attitude or I stop all sport and pull her from her play that she is practicing for - ITS NOT EASY - what they dont understand and they should - especially with their brother - is that life is short and anything could happen at any moment and what then - they feel guilty for the rest of their lives.
Its basically just to learn what works with them - my middle daughter (15) hates kitchen duty so that is her punishment - my youngest (13)just cant be without her phone or her best friend so I take the phone away and she isnt allowed to see her friend for a while - depending on what she has done and my eldest (17) well the sports and weekend parties and my two step daughters .... well I leave that to dad