The way Jessica's life changed after kids Featured

Jessica Cloete (24), "There is no more me-time for me."


Where in South Africa do you live?

East London.

Your childrens' names and ages:

Jasmine is three years old and Jocelyn is one.

How did your sleep routine change since you are a mom?

There is no more sleeping late on Saturdays unless they sleep at their grandma. With Jasmine I used to wake up two to three times a night until she turned two. When her sister was born, I put her into her own bed. She then woke up every four hours. Jocelyn started sleeping through since she was two months old. Every now and again the girls would wake me during the night for water or a bottle.

Do you spend less time on your appearance?

A lot less. I used to straighten my hair once a week, gently clean my face and put on cream, morning and evening. Now it’s just a quick wash with soap, I brush my teeth, get dressed, tie my hair in a bun and then I’m ready for the day. The kids are so impatient, I sometimes don’t even get time to brush my hair.

How are your holidays different now that you are a mom?

There are no such thing as holidays while the girls are this young.

How did parenting change your life?

I became much more responsible now that I have children. I see the world in a new way and I became very protective; not overprotective. I do let my kids play and explore, but I will never leave them alone, not even for a minute. 

What are your conversations about with your friends since you are a mom?

I never had many friends. I speak mostly to my family. I don’t have much time to chat, but when we do chat, it’s usually about my kids or how my day didn’t went the way I planned it.

What did you do before you were a mom that you can't do anymore?

There are lots of things I can't do anymore. I can't go out dancing, or just go somewhere on short notice. It’s a waste of time to dress-up, the kids always spill things on my clothes. I can’t watch my TV programmes anymore, Jasmine just wants to watch Barbie. I can’t enjoy a nice and peaceful meal, as the girls always want what’s on my plate, even if they have the same on their plates.

What influence did a new baby have on your marriage?

Definately much fewer fun times and more arguments. At the same time it made us stronger and we work well together. The girls have a strict routine. My husband and I are both busy with different things. We have no more alone time.

How is your me-time different since you became a mom?

What is me-time? The girls follow me everywhere. To the room, to the kitchen and even the bathroom. As I'm answering these questions, I'm sitting in their room yelling at them every now and again, "Jasmine pas op vir Jocelyn. Jasmine en Jocelyn, uit my kamer uit, julle het julle eie kamer. Moenie in die huis hardloop nie. Hou op om so te skree.” There is no me-time at all for this mommy.

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