question-circle Advice on hubby

7 years 2 months ago #229303 by anida.botha
Advice on hubby was created by anida.botha
hi Ladies,

I urgently need advice, my hubby and i have been married 4 years. we are renting a flat and we have been renting since we started our relationship. I have found the house i want but it doesnt seem like hubby wants to buy a place of our own. I have spoken to a few people that has the knowlage on buying a place and we have been through our budget accourding to the bank we can buy a place but we will have to get a joint loan.

problem i have is i keep asking hubby to take off work so we can go and see the bank and so we can go to try and buy a place of our own but he allways have excuses and endless reasons why he cant do things so we can get the loan.

Im at witts end, we have two kids and i feel like i am the only one thinking of where they will be living in a year from now.

Please ladies any advice on how to get hubby to help????
The following user(s) said Thank You: blue

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7 years 2 months ago #229305 by gloeiwurmpie
Replied by gloeiwurmpie on topic Advice on hubby
Have you tried having a serious "meeting" with him (schedule a time when you can talk uninterupted when both are feeling "fresh")? At the same time put your feelings to paper and present this to him to stress that you would like to find a solution to this problem and look forward to brainstorming with him about this issue.

Remember to never use "you" statements but "I" statements. Also don't use sentences where you say things like "always/ever/never" or any other extreme words. Never say something like "you never ever listen to me". That will set you up for a HUGE fight since this is attacking him personally. Rather say that "I feel that you don't seem to hear what I am really trying to comunicate to you and this is really important to me". Much less aggressive.

Hope you find a solution!

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7 years 2 months ago #229307 by Blompotjie
Replied by Blompotjie on topic Advice on hubby
Hi There,

Men can be so unnecessary sometimes. But maybe you first need to find out by him why he is resisting so much. There must be a reason. Be insistend that he must give you a reason why he does not want to buy a home with you at this stage as you feel that all of you require security of your own home since you have kids now.

Then when you get a answer, maybe it will be what you want to hear, maybe not, then you take it from there.

It could be something simple. Some people don't like change to much, maybe he is one of those people that is a bit sceptic of a big change and to scared to admit.

good luck and let us know.

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7 years 2 months ago #229310 by anida.botha
Replied by anida.botha on topic Advice on hubby
thank you for the advice i really hope its that simple.

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